Believing

John 10:22-30

"The feast of the Dedication was then taking place in Jerusalem. It was winter.
And Jesus walked about in the temple area on the Portico of Solomon.
So the Jews gathered around him and said to him, "How long are you going to keep us in suspense? If you are the Messiah, tell us plainly."
Jesus answered them, "I told you and you do not believe. The works I do in my Father's name testify to me.
But you do not believe, because you are not among my sheep.
My sheep hear my voice; I know them, and they follow me.
I give them eternal life, and they shall never perish. No one can take them out of my hand.
My Father, who has given them to me, is greater than all, and no one can take them out of the Father's hand.
The Father and I are one."

Everyday, we face problems. Some are just easy to solve; Some make us feel escaping reality. Sometimes, we think the problems are too big to handle that we tend to ask ourselves if God really exists, or if God cares for us. We try to challenge God, ask for proofs of His existence, etc. Worst, we blame God.

I was watching an old episode of CSI two or three nights ago. It was about a teenage boy who was framed by his brother for killing two men. Unfortunately, the CSIs were not able to prove the boy’s innocence and had him convicted for murder. The convicted boy eventually committed suicide. Maybe he couldn’t accept what his brother did to him.

The lead CSI went to the priest (the boy’s spiritual adviser) and said how sorry he was for what happened to the boy. Then the priest invited the CSI to celebrate mass with him. But Grissom refused. His refusal made the priest ask him if he doesn’t believe in God. Grissom's  answer really hit me. He said something like he’s a believer, but he doesn’t need rules to dictate how he should believe. It’s not that those words are encouraging people not to have a religion, but it’s good to know that there are people who know and believe in God. 

I was able to find an online  streaming (2013) for the said episode and somehow, I was able to record the conversation of the priest and Grissom:

"We both have jobs that begin after the crime, after the sin. Some may call it a career in futility. Some call it a vocation...Someday we wont need jails...You don't believe? .. In religion. I believe in God, in science, in Sunday supper. I don't believe in rules that tell how I should live. Even if they are handed down by God? How many crusades were fought in the name of God? How many people died because of someone's religion - fanaticism, not Religion. Semantics, they're still dead".

I admit, I have times that I couldn’t avoid to doubt God. But somehow there’s always a voice or something like that that keeps telling me the good things God has given and done for me. And I think that “something” is right. So, at the end of the day, I hold on to a verse from Jeremiah that says “God has plans for you, plans to prosper and not to harm you”.

written on April 15, 2008